Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Strange Days Indeed

Dan the Sleestak and me the good luck Hawaiian gecko.

Saturday, we went to Jenny and Jen's Halloween party. I was never a Halloween person but Dan is. He talked me into getting a fairly expensive costume and I'm glad I did. I get it now. It's fun to dress up as someone or something else and parade around with your friends being silly and generally having a great time. Since I won't be needing it in Hawaii (way to hot there - it was 80 degrees Halloween night) I donated my costume to Bill, he has 4 boxes of costumes!

This Halloween in Kauai, a yacht race with themed costumes. The crew of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" won.




Things are getting stressful. I'm smoking like a fiend and my body hates it, I tell it to hold on for a couple more months because I really can't quit right now! I imagine Dan and I will apply our first patch on the plane ride to Kauai. For the last several nights I wake between 4 and 5am. This morning it was 4. I lay there for a good 40 minutes, deciding that when I am in Kauai I am going to run and do yin yoga on the beach every day. If I have time, I'll go for a swim. It'll be great because I can breathe there and when I do yin yoga I am most receptive to my higher self, something I plan on listening to more. (I'm in the garage smoking and typing this and Dan with his mussed up hair and sleepy eyes, peeks his head around the door and joins me, he can't sleep either). As I lay in bed, some things kind of coalesce. I had a great day with a producer yesterday. (Funny how once I became unattached to that place things seem to be getting better in my sessions). She was upset, worried about a project. We talked and by the end of the session she thanked me because she felt better. She even sent me an email later thanking me again and saying she used some of my advice in a meeting and things were looking up. That made me really happy because one of the things I want to do is be inspiring. So, that showed me I can do it. I think that I can combine my love for health, food, and yoga with some inspiration. I can get certified in yoga and personal chef eventually combining the two. Several years ago I did a cleanse at a yin yoga studio. It was 7 days long eliminating all animal products. The first day you can have whole grains, beans, fruits and veggies. Every day you eliminate 1 thing like grains and then beans. On the 4th day you only have fruit and veggies and then you ramp back up again adding one thing a day. It also included yoga classes to support the anxiety you feel not eating the foods you normally eat. It's a great thing to do because it's breaks the strong connection you have with food, making you realize you don't need that much. My instructor has this soothing voice and while you are deeply relaxed, in these poses designed to stretch your connective tissue (joints) you are mentally open. She did a fantastic guided meditation where once she got you where she wanted you, she asked you if your addiction to food (or in my case cigarettes) was bigger than you. I got a resounding NO!!! It was really powerful. Dan wasn't quitting at the time so I was not able to stay clean. I always wanted her to do it again, I don't think she understood the healing power of it, for whatever reason she never did it again. I would love to do that. Another idea I had takes some explaining. When I got my facial Monday, I told my esthetician she looked great. She attributed it to a cleanse she is doing called Isagenix. She took me to her kitchen (she works out of her home) and showed me the shakes, snacks and tonics. She had me try a shot of the cleanse tonic and some energy booster. I listened to her, not taking it too seriously. I believe the body does a great job of cleansing itself if you eat whole plant based foods. Fifteen minutes later I am lying on her table and I feel a buzz of energy, I'm literally vibrating, in a good way. Also, normally when I lay down on my back, my lungs act badly. The asthma and smoking cause me to cough a lot. But, I'm laying there and I can breathe really well. I am taking big, deep breathes and having no trouble. It's like I have Lance Armstrong lungs! She tells me how it minimizes the grip fibromyalgia has on her, that she has lost weight, and she has energy now. I decide I want some and in the back of my mind I'm thinking I can sell this stuff too. So, big picture, maybe 3 years down the road: I own a yoga studio with a small cafe and sell Isagenix. It will have indoor/outdoor studios. The outdoor studio will have a covered lanai with an ocean or beautiful garden view and a waterfall. I can offer freedom from addiction classes, and healthy food. Locals will come to do yoga and eat healthy. Tourists will come for week long cleanses or detox/breaking addiction classes. I will still run on the beach every day and if I have the time go for a swim.

Dan found out yesterday that there is trouble with his folks. He may go to Chicago tomorrow. His step mom fell and broke her wrist, herniated 2 disks and broke her femur in half. She is going to be in the hospital for a long time. Meanwhile, his dad is at home and is so sick he needs professional help. Dan thinks he can go down there and talk his dad into going to an assisted living facility.

My wonderful, fun loving, detail oriented, caring dentist drops a bomb shell. She may be closing the practice, she is getting checked today for a bone marrow disease. At worst she has 6 months to live. I immediately get teary eyed while she happily tells me it's forcing her to get organized, she doesn't want to leave a mess for her family. She says she is going to close the practice and do crafts with her girls all day. One of them is there, a young girl they adopted from China. She is rolling around the office chair and I tell her her mom is a she-ro! Her sweet little face lights up. Dr. Albin Davis, uncomfortable with the compliment, says I don't see her cry. I wish I would have said it's ok, she-ros cry too. She is in a hurry to leave and so am I, I had arrived 15 minutes late. I over scheduled my day and now I have to rush home because Linda is meeting me there to buy candle supplies and my craft table. I love Linda. She is so laid back, non pulsed that we have arrived 30 minutes late. She, on the other hand, was on time. Forgetting to set her clock back an hour. Later that night Andrea came over to buy some kitchen stuff. We haven't seen her in 4 years. It's like we never left off, picking up a string of conversation that has been going on for years. She looks fantastic, happy because her dreams are coming true. She is now a home owner and joyfully making it her own. She is getting married in June.

This week we have sold:
Heavy bag, sped bag and stand, 2 kayaks, grain mill, vacuum sealer, kitchen supplies, candle supplies, and a craft table.

On a final note, we are completely out of debt! Dan paid off the jeep, so hopefully its, save, save, save.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Kauai



The beaches of Kauai are, without any doubt, some of the most enchantingly beautiful on earth. Visiting Kauai, nicknamed the Garden Isle, is for many a spiritual experience – a place where you can become whole again, a place to find your soul. The warm ocean is a very special transparent, sparkling blue, the sand so white and soft in places that is squeaks under your feet. Combine that with the lush backdrop of waterfalls rolling off the mountains, the tropical plants, fish and animal species and you find yourself in paradise indeed. On Kauai where the feeling and pace of old Hawaii has been preserved, watching the sun set on a beach will be a memory treasured forever.



One sobering thought - the Pacific Ocean demands respect. Waves can be very dangerous as they often break directly on the shore and rip currents can be hazardous and form without any warning. Always heed the warning signs and ask the locals, when they tell you it’s not safe to swim or surf, respect that. This island has long been the favorite of not only tourists, but also movie moguls and honeymooners. Kauai beaches - stunning, beautiful, enchanting.




All text and photos are "borrowed" from the internet.

Friday, October 30, 2009

This Is It

Dan and I played hooky today and went to see the Michael Jackson movie This Is It (to see trailer click on header). Iconic, creative and inspiring. Unfortunately for me, I never appreciated him while he was alive. When I was a teenager I loved his Off The Wall album. But after that, he was so huge, his music (Thriller, Bad) so over played, that I didn't really give him a second thought. This movie had me so emotional, so inspired, that by the end I was holding back the ugly cry. Michael wanted to document the process for his archives so all the footage is behind the scenes. It starts off with thousands of people auditioning for dancers. The "winners" explain, to Michael, how he has inspired them and it is a dream come true to be able to perform with him. Some of these young folks are so overcome with emotion they can barely speak. The whole thing is his set list, them rehearsing, shooting video for the stage inserts. I believe he was no child molester but crazy with the plastic surgery for whatever reason. What comes through in the film is his passion and joy for what he does. He is kind, loving, gentle with creative instruction, generous in his gratitude. He wants to spread the message of love, loving each other. There is a fantastic piece, an anthem to nature, that is very affecting. To watch him create, sing and dance -he was still such a fluid dancer- was really inspiring. He understood that creating is an adventure and that sometimes there is failure. It didn't get him down, he learns from it, makes gentle corrections and quickly moves on. I left sad for this great loss and inspired. It make me think of our move to Kauai. I don't really know what is going to happen or what I am going to do to earn my way in this world, but after this film, some things have solidified. I want to be creative. I want to stretch myself. I want to be inspired. I want to be inspiring. I want to motivate people towards their best selves. I want to take risks and let life guide me to where I should be. I want to pay attention. I want to open up. I want to learn. I want to teach. I want to be healthy. I want to be close to nature. I want to feel joy always. I want to share. I want to be kind. I want to be patient. And of course, I want to be prosperous!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Cheers!

Congratulations! You and Dan are a pair of talented, creative souls. It's great to see a couple living their dreams. I wish you both the best.

I have such a mixed reaction to your email, I will be so sorry to see you leave Starz, you have been here so long, and have contributed so much to this company that it will be hard to let you go. On the other hand it sounds like you and Dan are ready to start your next adventure. I wish you nothing but the best, and hope that you will keep in touch. Let me know if you need anything during this transition.

let me know where you get gigs. I'm ready for a change too ;)

Wow, that sounds so cool. Good for you guys. I totally wanted to move to Hawaii.

Honestly, this opportunity couldn't happen to a nicer couple! You guys are going to have fun and think of what an amazing opportunity you have to create a great adventure for the next half of your lives! Yipee!

So happy for you guys you are obviously very busy...I will miss you but at the same time you are the most inspiring couple "people" I know...I admire your guts and sense of adventure!! I wish you the best but for people like you it will just come to you....:)

Wow, talk about a change of scenery. Going from the edit caves to sunny Hawaii :-) Congrats!!!

YAY!!! don't freak girl, it's the 1st chapter of your new life together!! there's nothing better than picking up and starting something new with the one you love!!

congratulations on the move. I am impressed that you and Dan are following your dreams, what a better world we would have if all of us were so brave.....

Sounds like you and Dan are in for a very very new life style and adventure. I’m happy for you (!) and surprised at the same time. Can you share what you will do there in the “Aloha State? If you want to keep that part personal no worries, but many people I’m sure admire and envy such a change. You are an inspiration. I wish you and Dan the very best the Hawaiian Islands have to offer! Thank you for your support over the years (CIA too) and best regards

So happy for you both! Couldn’t imagine a better spot than Kauai!

That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you. I’ve never been to Hawaii, but I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful living there.

I heard! WOW! That’s pretty neat!

Awe... don't go....

I am sooooo thrilled for both of you!!!!

That is by far thee coolest story! I am so excited for you guys!! I did that three times before settling here and stayed. What an exciting adventure!!!!!!!!

WOW! Good for you! You will both be missed but thank goodness somebody is living the dream!

CONGRATULATIONS!! We’ll miss you terribly but so excited for your new adventure. ;)

Congratulations on selling your house and putting in your resignations! You guys are following your dream and taking the necessary steps to make it happen. I'm so proud and happy for you guys!

I’m so happy for you!..and very jealous of course. You’re going to motivate Randy and I to get off our asses and do something different…talk talk talk is all we do. You will actually be living in paradise and somewhere warm!

Early retirement, yay! But I am sooo jealous…

Sorry to hear that you guys are leaving! But I can’t blame you for starting a new life in paradise…Best of luck!

you go girl!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Friends and Family

We got up early today because we heard an ad on TV for the Go car dealership. They are buying cars, at 120% of blue book! So we took it in and finally sold it. This economy blows, we didn't get much. I figure if we can make it in this economy, we can make it anytime! We got to my folks late, we had a chatty sales guy. He was nice though. Mom, good ol' mom, had the table decked out. She knows all of our favorites and the table is laden with them. Pica, Pica. In Spanish you pick this and that to eat. She had a beautifully ironed tablecloth laid out with wine glasses. A meat plate Serrano, Salami, ham, turkey, a pork tenderloin she roasted her self and lovingly sliced into perfect medallions. Olives from Spain (Dan's favorite), cheeses, white asparagus, Pan tomaquete (a baguette rubbed with ripe tomato, drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with salt), avocado dip, chips. It was lovely and love embodied it. My mom loves with food (among many other ways). We had a great discussion about our moving, they aren't that thrilled about it. After pica, pica Dan went to help dad with his iTunes and mom and I kicked back and talked. After many I love yous, we left. We had to get to John Freeman's surprise birthday party. Him and his twin were about an hour late, and we hung out with Tamara and Vindrea until they came. Once the word was out, they were coming, the room hushed. We all waited for them to come in and yelled surprise! John was surprised, but took it well. Slightly turning red, he came around to everyone and said hello. Such a good guy (we call him by his super hero name Rely Guy). So kind, generous, helpful. I got to meet his family, spent some time with grandma, they are all very nice. Gail, Jonathan, Dan and I headed over to the brothers Leirer gig after getting a beer and a bite to eat. The pictures are from the show. I am going to bed tonight feeling love and gratitude for my friends and family, I will miss them more than I thought!


Bill Leirer on Vocals


Scott Waknin on bass


Chris Leirer on drums


Bill and Gail


Lovely Bill!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Don't Ask Me For Advice!

We are free falling. It feels so good. In my minds eye I am throwing off a heavy coat as I jump off a cliff, arms spread wide, a huge grin on my face. Not knowing what is going to happen is turning out to be more fun than I thought. I believe with every fiber of my being that everything is going to be ok. In fact, it's going to be better than ok, I can't even imagine how good it's going to be, but good it's going to be! So, I'm kinda reckless when it comes to things that don't feel good. If it doesn't feel good I'm not going there. It reminds me of an old mantra I once had IIAFFI! If it ain't fun fuck it! Unfortunately, for a co worker who is not in the same state of bliss as I, I feel I have gotten careless. I'll call my producer Sheaneanea and her lover Zeus. We were in session and Sheaneanea was talking to me about a lover, a friend, a treasured companion who she loves very much. She maybe even feels like Zeus is too good for her and she will never find another. The problem is Zeus is afraid of getting hurt. As is Sheaneanea, but she is willing to plunge in and go for it. They have been dating for a year and Zeus has had this problem before. It just rubbed me the wrong way. I said call him on it! Say ok, I understand how you feel, I don't really want to get hurt again either, but I love you and I want to take the risk. If you don't want to move forward in unbridled love, I understand, I'll leave you alone. Done! Next! I'm thinking, life is short who has time for that? After spending a year proving yourself as a kind, loving, gentle, human being, who wants to hear that?! I think Sheaneanea wanted an ear, for me to listen. I know she didn't want to hear that! I understand, I've been there. Once, after complaining to a friend she said Marta, leap and the net will appear. I thought are you crazy? Things must be planned, I must know what is coming next, no way! But now, I totally get it, and it feels so good, so freeing, so exciting! I wonder if this is going to be a permanent way of life. Full on Hawaiian style. Go with the flow, see what life brings me. I know it will be good, I know there will be tough times. When the tough times come, I will look for the lessons, take the time to feel the sadness. Trust me, I haven't had a sheltered life. I've had my share of downs, frankly, I'm lucky to be alive. But I know everything is going to be ok, and when it's my time, well, time is up! Onto the next adventure. I choose to focus on the positive, on what feels good and spend very little time on what feels bad, I've spent a lot of time on that already! It reminds me of the movie Life Is Beautiful. It's hard for me to imagine a worse life. His family gets taken to a concentration camp, he's there with his son. But it's a feel good film because he makes the best of the situation. Because you are the only person who can make you feel bad, who can give your soul away, who can be suppressed by another or a circumstance. I know it's a movie, I know it's fake. There are real life archetypes like Elie Wiesel for example. So, don't ask me for advice, you're not gonna like how I react, I'll tell you to take the road less traveled, take the risk, it's worth it and so are you.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Another Early Morning



4:44am. Everyone is dead asleep except me. Dan is all snuggled up in the down comforter, Baxter and Lucy, along my right side, take up half the bed. I sit up and Dan rolls over and looks at me, looks at the clock and rolls back over to sleep. I get out of bed, get my things and pad downstairs. It snowed a lot over night, looks like 4 inches or so. I will not miss the snow.

Brian added some color to the logos so I'll put them up again. I like #2 now.



This week started out kinda rough. The anxiety of selling the house and quitting our jobs really affected me physically, plus, I was beginning to wonder if we were crazy. I was still sick Tuesday morning but I didn't want to call in and have my co workers think I was slacking because I was a short timer. Rich thought I should go home anyway but as the day wore on I started feeling better. By the end of yesterday I was literally buzzing with excitement. The Kauai vibe is getting stronger and its a lot of fun riding it! As of last night I felt like it couldn't be any other way. People keep saying what we are doing takes a lot of courage, and, I agreed Tuesday but now it just feels right. Not extraordinary, not courageous, just right. Some people are right along with us, getting wrapped up in the excitement of it all and then it just increases.

The editors are jostling for our shifts. They make comments like "I told management I want off my shift". Some have been there a long time, over 10 years, working split shifts or weekends. The assistant editors and Seth our excellent tape op are hoping something happens for them. It's fun knowing that by our leaving, some people will get what they want. New blood will flow through those hardened arteries! Or not. Our director came to my edit bay yesterday. He told me it was bittersweet for him. He'll miss me and my "extensive knowledge" but moving to Kauai, wow! He said he'd counter offer if he thought he could compete with paradise. There was a pregnant pause and I said yea, you can't compete with paradise! It seems we are appreciated!

We are starting to sell some of our stuff. The tower computers are gone, Bryan wants to buy my Cerwin Vega speakers and our Dennon 7 disk CD changer. I found a lady on Craigslist who wants to buy our temperpedic pillows, Dan found someone who wants to buy ALL of our CD's, DVD's and books, there must be 4000 in all! Vendria, that cute little mother to be, is buying my office chair. Kelly, the new marketing producer, may buy our book shelves. My brother not only offered storage room but is going to come by and see if him and his wife want to buy anything. Porter is interested in our big screen. The car still hasn't sold yet. Dan has been talking about web design, he knows someone who does it and is turning away work. He told Dan if he can get up to speed, he'll give him some work. It's all coming together like Dyanne said!