A Note to My Husband

Hey baby,
I'm worried about you. We both know the house can't sell soon enough. We each have our seperate reasons.

I see you on the weekends so light and happy. Plugged in, conversational, upbeat. I really appreciate all the things you do around the house. Laying tile, painting, yard work, picking up dog poop, keeping the cars clean and maintained, posting things on the Internet for us to sell, doing bills, taking out the trash, fixing things, doing laundry, fixing my computer, installing new programs, helping me figure something out (you have the patience for that) helping make dinner, washing dishes (wash/dry/put), taking the dogs to get groomed or to the vet, and countless other things. I don't have to ask, you never complain. All of these things I see as tokens of love. On the weekends you are a happy man. It takes you a good couple of hours to relax into it, but once you are there, you are patient, kind, gentle, and loving to me and the dogs. You are funny and fun to be around. You have a smile on your face when you talk. Singing silly songs while we walk, you jut your elbow out wanting me to hook my wagon to yours.

Then Tuesday morning rolls around. You are irratable, short with me and the dogs. Quick to find fault. Impatient, grumpy. As the day wears on you complain about everything. The smallest thing will annoy you and you will vent about it until the next irratation comes along. It only gets worse as the week wears on. I take no offence. I know where this is coming from. I know it's not personal. Still, it's no fun to be around. I know you feel underappreciated, and you are. You are brilliant at whatever you do but editing brings your A game out. You know that box as well as you know me. You are creative and capable of understanding technical specs better than I or most editors ever could. It's in your DNA. That's why you are in more demand than any other editor there. That and because the status quo just won't do for you, you have to put your "signature" on everything you edit. Even if that means trying something new, learning, pushing yourself. You love to figure things out. Challenge yourself. Everyone knows this, even management. They take advantage of it instead of encouraging it. You are a natural leader, they won't let you lead. They want to have the knowledge that you spend hours researching but don't want to reward you for it. You are under pressure working on originals and marketing. Both demand a lot of approvals from various levels of management and as a result loads of revisions. You remember which graphic is current and where to find it, do you use a copyright or registration mark? The producer doesn't know but you do. You've asked for a break, you can do one or the other but not both, it's too much. They hear you but only offer more of the same. You have no power but everyone, including management, seeks out your expertise. The producers have come to rely on you. Dropping their work off, they know you'll get it done and get it done right with that Dan Lane signature they all clamour for. I know it's wearing you out, I see it crush your spirit every day that you are there.

It's time for us to go, try something new. Get to know eachother even better, fall in love a little more. I hope it happens sooner than later, for your sake, for my sake, for our sake.

I love you sweetheart...




-- Posted from my iPhone

Sunrise in Colorado

Except for the glow of my iPhone, it's pretty much pitch black. Its 5:35am. I'm alone, outside, on the deck, smoking one of my last cigarettes. I'm quitting on Thursday. The only sound is an occasional car and the trickle of our little Buddah water fountain. My breath comes out like little clouds, fall is here in 8 days and I can feel it in the crisp air. Last night I was excited because I could sleep in this morning. This week wore me out. Clenching my teeth takes more out of me than I realized. My neck gets ramrod tight and constantly hurts, it goes up into my head down to my shoulders and across my chest. I wrote in my blog the other day that I didn't understand why I was so stressed. Tiffany, a thoughtful, sweet young lady, reminded me yesterday that I have a lot going on. That I'm trying to balance letting life play out with the unknown. Of course she's right, our stressors (and character flaws) are so obvious to the other while we spin around in circles wondering what is wrong. After all, I am leaving behind a 25 year career, a life time in this state and a lot of friends and family. As a matter of fact, that's why I'm up so early on a Saturday morning. I was sound asleep, cozy and warm in our king sized bed. Lucy along side me, softly snoring, Baxter is on the floor and Dan sound asleep. Mentally, I slam foreward, almost sitting upright. I'm having a conversation with my boss, telling him I am leaving. He asks my why and I can't answer him!






Well, the day is here. I will miss these beautiful sunrises and my beautiful state. But onward to other beautiful sunrises in another beautiful state!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Guitars, Cars and Itunes

I just got an email from Gail and even though she reads the blog, she had a lot of questions. So, I thought answer them because they are definitely not in here. Under no circumstances will we be leaving unless the house sells. This is a dream we are fulfilling and we can afford to be patient. We want to set ourselves up for success. To us, that means having money saved to make the transition a lot more comfortable. The money we make from selling our home and most of our stuff is going to help us start a new life. Dan sold his guitar and amp to Bill Wednesday, that money is going into our Hawaii account. Not the one in Hawaii, we have one here. All the proceeds from any sales go into that. Except the car. When the car is sold we will pay off Dan's jeep, that way we can go to Kauai debt free!!! Last weekend a guy looked at the Grand Prix GXP for his mom. She is the one I was talking about when we were in Hawaii and Dan was talking to her on the phone. He told his mom it was a fantastic car. She is waiting for funding but her banker's wife (she lives in a small town) had a heart attack. She might come down Saturday, if she gets the funding, we are waiting to hear.

I have to say I love, love, love my Iphone. When we live in Kauai, if nothing else, I will make sure that thing is working. It is an indispensable part of my life that I just cannot live without. My latest favorite things are 2 new apps. Blog Press and Free RSS Feed. John Freeman is the blog master. He told me about Blog Press so I could blog from my phone. Didn't think I'd use it...key in Maui. I was able to record everything immediately after it happened, with vivid detail, for later recollection. If I had to wait until the day was over I would have left out so much. Instead, when I had pockets of time I was able to add to it as the day went on. Now there is Free RSS Feed, so I can follow blogs on my Iphone, brilliant!

Tamara booked me this afternoon for an hour. She is doing a sales video and is in the process of picking out music for it. Music is critical to the success of a sales tape hence the 7 people from marketing, in my edit bay, listening to the songs cranked up and avidly taking notes. No pun intended! She played one song by Against Me! called New Wave. The driving beat had my heart pounding in no time and the singer was singing my song! "Is there anybody on the receiving end? Reaching out for some kind of connection...Come on and wash these shores away...I am looking for the crest of a new wave...Are you ready to brave new directions?"! The song is about making new music but, you know how you can make any song your own, so it's a "going to Kauai" song for me! I was like "YHEA" (say it in your head with a demonic sound to it) like you are invincible! YHEA!!

Possible Job Links for Marta

Hoku Foods

Merriman's

Papaya's Natural Foods

Healthy Hut

Hanalei Natural Foods

Happy Cow

Kauai Organic Farms

Blair Estate Coffee

Personal Chef Kevin Boyette

Personal Chef A.J. Deraspe

Kauai Farmer's Coop

Kauai Argiculture

Yoga Kauai

Favorite Food Websites

101 Cookbooks

Orangette

Cooks Illustrated

King Arthur

Kauai Health Guide

Slow Food Kauai

Blogging Banana Joe's

Edible Hawaiian Islands

Serious Eats

Real Baking with Rose

The Wednesday Chef

Chocolate and Zucchini

Foodbeam

Donna Hay

Martha Stewart

Better Baking

EGullet 2008 best recipes

EGullet 2009 best recipes

Jamie Oliver

Fine Cooking

Epicurious

Joanne Weir

Culinate

Useful Websites

We have been doing some searching on craighslist for places to stay. This one looks really good. It's small but I think I could live with it. It has laundry right there, a nice yard, a cute kitchen.

This web site is for Kauai news and community events involving sustainability

The newspaper

Google search for CSA's on Kauai.

craigslist for Kauai

Houses for rent

State of Hawaii

Kauai Chamber of Commerce

Honolulu Advertiser

Koa Books

Kauai Farmers Markets

County of Kauai

Kauai Vacation Guide

Hawaiian Film Office

Love from Gail for Later Support

From: Gail Reisenauer
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 8:24 PM
To: Marta Lane
Subject: Hey

So I just caught myself up on your blog and have you ever considered writing as another job field? You have a way with words, I think you are very creative. Ideally it would be to write for a food magazine about the local fare for tourists. Maybe you could start one if one has not been started. Or even an e-zine. I have ideas if you are interested.

I have not seen you since you got back. How was the trip? Hopefully we can catch up on Friday. I'm getting excited for you. You mentioned it in one blog about how your attitude has changed since the decision has been made. I was the same way with Menards when I made the decision to leave, job or no job. Nothing bothered me anymore. It was a like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Anyway I also wanted to offer up any help if you need it. I have moved 6 different times I am a pretty good little packer already or anything else for that matter. In Oct. I will have Saturdays free so I could help then for sure.
Well, hope you are doing well and all things are coming together for you. I am still bummed about you leaving, because I know it is going to happen, but I am happy for you too. I can't be selfish. :)
Gail