Saturday, May 14, 2011

It’s better to burn out that to fade away

Dan and I have really been enjoying ourselves. We went four wheeling up on the west side and had fun getting the jeep all muddy.  We saw some stunning views of the Na Pali coast. We went to the 2011 Kauai’s Best of awards ceremony, put on by MidWeek Kauai. I got to meet my co-workers, some for the first time. I got to interview an organic chocolatier here and take a farm tour for an article I’m working on. We’ve had dinners at friends late into the night and photo adventures in search of Dan’s shot of the day. Everyday begins with a beautiful sunrise and birds singing their praises.
Everyday also brings a new gift. For example, I never knew my husband was so funny! You’d think after 16 years I would. I’m really excited about his blog because he’s having fun doing it and because it cracks me up. Maybe it’s cause I love him so much, but I like it.
Recently, I’m reminded of when I was an editor at Starz. A lot of my co-workers, who’d been there forEVEH like me, were cranky. I wouldn’t say I was cranky, I wasn’t complaining all the time, but I certainly wasn’t inspired. I enjoyed working with the producers and creating something from nothing. I really enjoyed it when the producer and I clicked and we worked together to create something fun to watch. Anyway, I knew my heart wasn’t in it. And there was this nagging feeling that I was taking up someone else’s space.
I think about Gail, she was all fired up; passionate, committed, excited about the job. She was having fun at her job and in her life. I was like that in the beginning too. I felt like she deserved to get the day shift, I wanted to give her my slot. I didn’t have the courage to do it. I stayed longer than I should have. 
Now, I am inspired again. Even though the money and security are radically different, the passion I have for life is too. I’m excited, alive, invigorated. I see successful writers that have been on this island for 15 to 30 years, and they are cranky. I mean rude and bitchy! Dad says it’s the human condition. I think it’s why Neil Young says, “It’s better to burn out that to fade away.” If you lose your spark, you fade away. You take up space that someone else can thrive in. I’m glad we took the risk and reignited our spark. I’m glad someone who cares a lot more about editing promos gets to do it during the week so she can have her weekends. We are both the better for it.
Dan got most of these shots when we went four wheeling the other day. Except the papayas, that's from our yard. The red and purple flowers are from a restaurant review we did yesterday. I'm so proud of my husband!

This is a picture of a flower on a tree that's sort of like a pine tree. It looks like a caterpillar. Amazing life here. Seeing how nature spontaneously thrives to be its best, just because it's alive, inspires me to do the same. Nature is my religion.