Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving Day


The highlight of my thanksgiving day was the snowball fight. Dan and I went outside for a smoke after we ate and the kids came tumbling out shortly afterward. It was nice and warm, the sun was shining, about 70 degrees. We are all out on the front yard and Kaila gets this idea to fill a cooler with snow from the yard across the street. I didn't know what she had in mind but her dad shot her down. Her and Gracie grabbed a bucket and ran to fill it up. So there was Dan and I standing across from them suddenly getting bombarded with snowballs. Colten, Paige and Austin grab a bucket, run to fill it up and come back shouting we have back up, we have back up!!! There we are; Dan, me, Colten, Paige and Austin against Gracie and Kaila. Pretty soon the buckets are being replaced by 5 gallon buckets that are being replaced by the coolers. The snow was perfect, slushy. Great for making snowballs and perfect for getting hit by them, bursting on impact. It was a great way to cool down. Austin and Paige kept running up to me saying their hands were cold so I would cup them in mine and try to blow warm air on them. Ten seconds later they were back at it. The fight lasted for about an hour then Kaila, Gracie and Colten went inside for dessert and Paige and Austin stayed outside with us and tried to ride their skateboards.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Julie Cobb, I love you!

Dan and I were in the kitchen making the deviled eggs for Thanksgiving lunch. Baxter and Lucy were laying in their customary spot, by the sliding glass door, ready for any food that may come their way. The eggs are from our CSA and because they are so fresh, they are really tricky to peel. So, we were each in our own little world peeling a dozen eggs when my phone rang. It was Julie, and there was joy in her voice. She was happy because dad had called her to wish her a happy thanksgiving. He loves her and she felt that. Her soft southern lilt and gentle laugh warms my heart as she tells me about their conversation. Mom and dad are having a difficult time with our leaving. My dad expresses to her that we can't find common ground. He feels like we are abandoning them, I feel like they don't support us. We've had this conversation before and I thought we had an understanding. Julie takes the risk and tells him she is proud of us. She has known for years that we were unhappy at work and has encouraged us to persue something else. Given that we don't have kids she didn't see any reason for us not to. Dad is scared. He thinks we are going to fail. He thinks we are giving up great jobs and a beautiful home and that this is as good as it gets. Julie reminds him that we are smart, resourceful, have no debt and enough money to insure that we don't run into a desperate situation. He's not having any of it. I express my disappointment, frustration and that it hurts. Julie is my voice of reason, unencumbered by the history of family disagreements and complications. She tells me they love me. They are old school, they feel like you get a good job and you keep it until you die. Finding yourself? Having a dream? Persuing that dream? The unknown? All foreign thoughts to them, sticking in their in their craw prohibitting them from nourishment and growth. She shows me how they love. When they say they are never coming to visit because mom can't fly and then talk about going to Puerto Rico for a family reunion or Spain with my brother and his family, they are trying to tell me I will be missing out on family, asking me to reconsider. In a strange totally disconnected way, I think she is right. Dan doesn't agree, he thinks that they just don't think. Whatever the reason, this is how they love. I will not get words of support from them. They probably won't show up at our going away party. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if no one in my family came, they are all invited. They don't understand what we are doing, to them we are crazy. Julie points out that this is their love; protective, anxious, guilt ridden but it is love. I am so grateful to have her as a friend. She knows me, she knows my family, she knows what she is talking about. We have known eachother for 20 years or so. We have had some tough times, witnessed family interactions; mostly toxic some loving, climbed mountains, went on road trips, lived together, seen boyfriends and husbands come and go, she has 3 boys and is doing a great job of raising them herself. We are living, learning, loving, hurting and becoming wise old women together! Julie Cobb, I love you! Thank you for being such a good friend!

Friends and Family

I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving Day. It seems like last weekend was Halloween! I guess next weekend will be Christmas and then we'll finally be on our way. In the meantime, we are having a lot of fun getting out into the world and visiting with family and friends.

Two weekends ago I made some chocolate chip cookies as a thank you for Dave Cary because he recommended his friends to come over and they bought a lot of stuff. We also sold a lot of my vinyl, the end tables in the red room, the dining table, chairs and serving table, the pot rack, some more DVDs, the ski rack and Steve McClure came over to get the foosball table. It was pretty chaotic, a lot of people came over after work but the stuff is clearing out. We still have several expensive items that we want to sell like the home gym, bed room set, surround sound and my ruby ring. If we get what we are asking, which is a lot less than we paid, we will get about 8 grand from those things alone. It is looking like we will have enough money to live off of for a couple of years, of course we want to get to working as soon as possible so we can save that and maybe buy a house or open a small business.

Last Friday, Dyanne and I met at Jose O'Shea's, a mexican joint in Lakewood for dinner. She had her little daughter in tow and we had a great time chatting and listening to her little one. Children are so funny! Afterwards we went to see Dr. Joe Dispenza speak. He is a motivational speaker and brain expert.
His philosophy is based on creating positive feelings, through meditation or prayer, and putting in requests for what you want. This practice gives you the life you want. Some of my favorite quotes were; "Digging up the old self makes room for the new self", "Nerve cells that fire together, wire together", "If your life isn't changing or going in the direction you want, ask yourself what emotion you feel everyday. That's the feeling you have to liberate to free up that energy to create something new", "The stuff you already know about yourself does not inspire change. We need change (challenge) in order to not be bored with ourselves", "When you start to complain ask yourself how you would have done things differently". I tried it this week. One sure way to get my positive vibrations going is to snuggle with Baxter. Word was out that if we finished our work by 3pm yesterday, we could leave. I was anxious because I had 3 sessions and didn't think I was going to get out early. Yesterday morning while I was still in bed, I snuggled with Baxter. Once I felt really happy I said I wanted to leave by 3. The morning started out rocky, one of the graphic designers took an air master and locked it in his room. We didn't know that, I was scheduled from 8 to 9 to make a fix and we spent most of that time looking for the tape. We didn't finish the session because of it. But I managed to cut a spot, put the finishing touches on it, lay it off, layoff the first session that didn't get done, digitize, edit and layoff for my 3rd session, layback some fixes and was walking to the car by 3:00! So, my new thing is to do that every morning. This morning I asked for a great day with my family.

Sunday uncle AK and aunt Shirley came to the house to see it for the first time. They drove all the way from Texas, where they live, to Oklahoma where their son and his wife are. Dropped off aunt Shirley's mother (because she is sick) and came out to Colorado. They plan on being back to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. Mom and dad bought some DVDs and uncle AK bought our Carol Greigg original painting. My aunt and uncle are fantastic people. Very calm, kind and accepting. We talked about moving, Hawaii, showed them pictures, showed dad how to use Skype and had lunch at the Hickory House. Dad shredding cheese for dinner and mom pretending to be keeping him on task.

Monday we went over to dad's house to visit some more and so Dan could do his usual computer to do list for dad. Mom stayed in the kitchen making dinner while aunt Shirley and I had a heart to heart. We talked about family and how hard it can be to stay out of their lives and let things happen as they will while offering love and support. We headed over to my brothers and had dinner. Kaila, his oldest wasn't feeling well so she stayed in bed the whole time. It was the first time they met Austin, my brother's youngest (he has 5) and it was fantastic seeing how he took to my aunt. Climbing up onto her lap and going to her for comfort. She teaches junior high kids with special needs and her patience and kindness is a magnet to us all!

After leaving work early yesterday, we went to Earl's for some beer with Wes, Bill, Annie and Kris. Love Wes, he is so funny, he had me cracking up. Bill, what can I say about him. He is an "includer", he welcomes anyone and any situation. He came in after us heartbroken. The evil step mother is causing Thanksgiving complications and his girls are suffering from it. We all felt so bad as he told us, with tears in his eyes, the baby mama drama story. Dan and I ran home to pick up our CSA delivery and to feed the dogs. Had a quick bite to eat at Las Delicious and met Bill and his family for a night of bowling.

I apologize for the tone of this post, and my last few, they seem to me to be more like a diary or, litany of events rather than something interesting to read. My inspiration has waned, from everything that is going on, and now the holidays are upon us!

I made some garlic, olive oil, oregano and mozzarella pull-apart bread with home made marinara to dip in and deviled eggs for this afternoon! Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Makahiki Begins

The rise tonight of Nāhuihuiamakaliʻ (known in English as the constellation Pleiades) marks the beginning of the Makahiki in Hawaii, a four month celebration of the harvest, and a time of renewal and rest. Wars were forbidden to allow chiefs to freely move around the islands collecting tribute to Lono, the god of the harvest, and to allow the people to come together for feasts and sports. In modern times, the arrival of Makahiki is greeted with small ceremonies and reenactments around the island that attempt to preserve and perpetuate a small piece of the past for future generations.

Taken from the blog Ma ona

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Clearing Out

Our house is emptying out!! Yesterday we sold the leather couch, love seat and matching chair, a bunch of kitchen stuff, plants, cookbooks, book shelves, my diamond ring, snowshoes, the butcher block island, and DVD's. Today Andrea came over and bought the lazy boys, tomorrow the lady who bought the couches is coming back over to buy the pot rack. Next weekend I'm going to pack up the rest of the yellow room and it'll be empty once Dan's sister comes over and gets the china cabinet. One room down. I broke out grandma's old lazy boy chair for Dan (I have to keep mine - the one that now belongs to the new owner of this house - cuz otherwise the dogs can't sit with me) and it's a little small for Dan, but he says its fine.

I sent out some emails last night for some rentals in Kauai. Got some email responses as well as a phone call. The emails said to look them up when we get out there. The lady who called was very nice, sounded like a native. The place is pretty far out by a military base, it's a house divided into 3 separate homes. The one that is available is upstairs and an attic separates it from the other unit. She was fine with Baxter and Lucy. So maybe we only stay there the first month. Dan found a job in the Kauai newspaper for a Audio/Visual Tech Specialist. He would provide services for concerts, conventions, whatever. He sent the posting to my girlfriend Ilissa to see if she'd herd of the place because she does that sort of thing on a large scale. She'd not only heard of it but used to work there as a Director Of Sales. They talked for a long time, she gave him tips on wording and what the job would entail. She said to use her as a reference. It seems like things are starting to come together.

My uncle is coming to visit us next weekend, he and my aunt live in Texas and they want to see us before we go. They are so sweet, my uncle is really funny. The only ones in my family who are really making an effort. My brother came over yesterday to buy some stuff.

While we got about 9 inches of snow, Kauai is flooding out. The guy I met on Face Book the other day is excited about it and Kauai's Hindu Monastery had a video where they were outside, watching the Wailua river flood out with big grins on their faces, standing in 6" of water in flip flops. It's not so much fun for others, some had to be evacuated from their homes.

Friday my boss had our monthly meeting and fortuitously, I was the only one who showed up. We had a honest discussion of my frustrations as well as his and Dan's. I understand now his position and know that things will never change in that department. Not as long as the "child" is running things! I can leave now, with peace. No hard feelings. It has been a great place to work and grow, mentally and financially.

Dan and I are eating like crap and I am not inspired to do much, like blog, so sorry for the lack of posts. I can't believe how exhausting it is to sell all of our stuff. Luckily, Dan and I are doing great. No arguments, some impatience but that is temporary. I actually cooked today. I haven't felt like doing that lately either. We have been living on Isagenix shakes mostly during the work week. We have been eating burgers and fries, ice cream, pastries, eggnog lattes. Sugar, sugar, sugar!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Change for Balance

The decision to leave has been the hardest so far. Everything else (selling our house and selling our stuff, quitting our job, moving) is time consuming and stressful but tolerable because it's the beginning of the end. The end of the rat race, the end of the doldrums. Once we leave, it will be the beginning. A lot of people at work are inspired by our move. My boss said we came up in an executive meeting and that we had the whole of the company rooting for us. I think that is fantastic. I hope we inspire at least one person to make their dreams a reality, now! Not later, life is too short. Even if it's starting with small things like writing, learning how to dance, getting out in nature more.

Yesterday, my friend posted the comment "Mahalo Maui" on Face Book. One of her friends posted "Mahalo Kauai". I'm becoming so bold in this process that I did something I wouldn't have done a year ago. I sent him a friend request with a message. I told him I saw his post and was wondering if he was visiting or if he lived there. His name is Roddy, he said he lives there in the winter! We talked back and forth all day and I learned that he is a producer, director and editor for a production company he owns with 3 other guys. Change for Balance. What a fantastic name, a name that could describe what we are doing! They make videos that matter, their latest Equine Destiny, "exposes mounting issues facing this country's equines. Horse abandonment and neglect are not new problems. Today, these problems have increased dramatically."
This morning I got a message from my friend, one who is inspiring me!

Hi Marta!
Yes, a lot of travel for me these days! Leaving Maui tomorrow and off to India for two months, then Byron Bay Australia. See where it leads when you "let yourself be guided"????! Pinch me!

So far my journey has been amazing-beautiful, fulfilling, healing...and FUN!!!

So excited for you two! I've met SO many people from Kauai lately! (lots seem to go to Bali). I have two friends who have a production company and live on Kauai. I met them in Mysore last year. Cool, laid back and talented! Try to hook up with them, Jay and Roddy:
Stay in touch Marta. I am so excited to hear how it goes for you guys!
lots of love, and good luck on your journey!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Good Day Today

Dan and I spent the day preparing to sell stuff. We sold a TV and boom box. He decided to pull the foosball table out and assemble it so we could get a picture and post it on Craigslist. It was kind of chaotic. Rob was leaving with the TV when the guy who wanted the boom box pulled up. As Rob was telling me about his glider plane 2 young men from The Latter Day Saints walked up. I told them we were moving, hoping to brush them off and they offered to help. Rob and the boom box guy left as the boys helped Dan upright the table. They stayed for a while, one of them was into the dead so we chit chatted. They were here for about an hour, threw their pitch in. We counter offered with our beliefs and all was well. They left their number, offering to help us move. Dan decided we needed to play a game before we sold it so we broke out the beer, tunes and smokes and had a great time. I love that table! We got so buzzed I didn't feel like making dinner so it's pizza and Dexter for the evening, maybe another game before bed!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Strange Days Indeed

Dan the Sleestak and me the good luck Hawaiian gecko.

Saturday, we went to Jenny and Jen's Halloween party. I was never a Halloween person but Dan is. He talked me into getting a fairly expensive costume and I'm glad I did. I get it now. It's fun to dress up as someone or something else and parade around with your friends being silly and generally having a great time. Since I won't be needing it in Hawaii (way to hot there - it was 80 degrees Halloween night) I donated my costume to Bill, he has 4 boxes of costumes!

This Halloween in Kauai, a yacht race with themed costumes. The crew of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" won.

Things are getting stressful. I'm smoking like a fiend and my body hates it, I tell it to hold on for a couple more months because I really can't quit right now! I imagine Dan and I will apply our first patch on the plane ride to Kauai. For the last several nights I wake between 4 and 5am. This morning it was 4. I lay there for a good 40 minutes, deciding that when I am in Kauai I am going to run and do yin yoga on the beach every day. If I have time, I'll go for a swim. It'll be great because I can breathe there and when I do yin yoga I am most receptive to my higher self, something I plan on listening to more. (I'm in the garage smoking and typing this and Dan with his mussed up hair and sleepy eyes, peeks his head around the door and joins me, he can't sleep either). As I lay in bed, some things kind of coalesce. I had a great day with a producer yesterday. (Funny how once I became unattached to that place things seem to be getting better in my sessions). She was upset, worried about a project. We talked and by the end of the session she thanked me because she felt better. She even sent me an email later thanking me again and saying she used some of my advice in a meeting and things were looking up. That made me really happy because one of the things I want to do is be inspiring. So, that showed me I can do it. I think that I can combine my love for health, food, and yoga with some inspiration. I can get certified in yoga and personal chef eventually combining the two. Several years ago I did a cleanse at a yin yoga studio. It was 7 days long eliminating all animal products. The first day you can have whole grains, beans, fruits and veggies. Every day you eliminate 1 thing like grains and then beans. On the 4th day you only have fruit and veggies and then you ramp back up again adding one thing a day. It also included yoga classes to support the anxiety you feel not eating the foods you normally eat. It's a great thing to do because it's breaks the strong connection you have with food, making you realize you don't need that much. My instructor has this soothing voice and while you are deeply relaxed, in these poses designed to stretch your connective tissue (joints) you are mentally open. She did a fantastic guided meditation where once she got you where she wanted you, she asked you if your addiction to food (or in my case cigarettes) was bigger than you. I got a resounding NO!!! It was really powerful. Dan wasn't quitting at the time so I was not able to stay clean. I always wanted her to do it again, I don't think she understood the healing power of it, for whatever reason she never did it again. I would love to do that. Another idea I had takes some explaining. When I got my facial Monday, I told my esthetician she looked great. She attributed it to a cleanse she is doing called Isagenix. She took me to her kitchen (she works out of her home) and showed me the shakes, snacks and tonics. She had me try a shot of the cleanse tonic and some energy booster. I listened to her, not taking it too seriously. I believe the body does a great job of cleansing itself if you eat whole plant based foods. Fifteen minutes later I am lying on her table and I feel a buzz of energy, I'm literally vibrating, in a good way. Also, normally when I lay down on my back, my lungs act badly. The asthma and smoking cause me to cough a lot. But, I'm laying there and I can breathe really well. I am taking big, deep breathes and having no trouble. It's like I have Lance Armstrong lungs! She tells me how it minimizes the grip fibromyalgia has on her, that she has lost weight, and she has energy now. I decide I want some and in the back of my mind I'm thinking I can sell this stuff too. So, big picture, maybe 3 years down the road: I own a yoga studio with a small cafe and sell Isagenix. It will have indoor/outdoor studios. The outdoor studio will have a covered lanai with an ocean or beautiful garden view and a waterfall. I can offer freedom from addiction classes, and healthy food. Locals will come to do yoga and eat healthy. Tourists will come for week long cleanses or detox/breaking addiction classes. I will still run on the beach every day and if I have the time go for a swim.

Dan found out yesterday that there is trouble with his folks. He may go to Chicago tomorrow. His step mom fell and broke her wrist, herniated 2 disks and broke her femur in half. She is going to be in the hospital for a long time. Meanwhile, his dad is at home and is so sick he needs professional help. Dan thinks he can go down there and talk his dad into going to an assisted living facility.

My wonderful, fun loving, detail oriented, caring dentist drops a bomb shell. She may be closing the practice, she is getting checked today for a bone marrow disease. At worst she has 6 months to live. I immediately get teary eyed while she happily tells me it's forcing her to get organized, she doesn't want to leave a mess for her family. She says she is going to close the practice and do crafts with her girls all day. One of them is there, a young girl they adopted from China. She is rolling around the office chair and I tell her her mom is a she-ro! Her sweet little face lights up. Dr. Albin Davis, uncomfortable with the compliment, says I don't see her cry. I wish I would have said it's ok, she-ros cry too. She is in a hurry to leave and so am I, I had arrived 15 minutes late. I over scheduled my day and now I have to rush home because Linda is meeting me there to buy candle supplies and my craft table. I love Linda. She is so laid back, non pulsed that we have arrived 30 minutes late. She, on the other hand, was on time. Forgetting to set her clock back an hour. Later that night Andrea came over to buy some kitchen stuff. We haven't seen her in 4 years. It's like we never left off, picking up a string of conversation that has been going on for years. She looks fantastic, happy because her dreams are coming true. She is now a home owner and joyfully making it her own. She is getting married in June.

This week we have sold:
Heavy bag, sped bag and stand, 2 kayaks, grain mill, vacuum sealer, kitchen supplies, candle supplies, and a craft table.

On a final note, we are completely out of debt! Dan paid off the jeep, so hopefully its, save, save, save.