Thursday, November 26, 2009

Julie Cobb, I love you!

Dan and I were in the kitchen making the deviled eggs for Thanksgiving lunch. Baxter and Lucy were laying in their customary spot, by the sliding glass door, ready for any food that may come their way. The eggs are from our CSA and because they are so fresh, they are really tricky to peel. So, we were each in our own little world peeling a dozen eggs when my phone rang. It was Julie, and there was joy in her voice. She was happy because dad had called her to wish her a happy thanksgiving. He loves her and she felt that. Her soft southern lilt and gentle laugh warms my heart as she tells me about their conversation. Mom and dad are having a difficult time with our leaving. My dad expresses to her that we can't find common ground. He feels like we are abandoning them, I feel like they don't support us. We've had this conversation before and I thought we had an understanding. Julie takes the risk and tells him she is proud of us. She has known for years that we were unhappy at work and has encouraged us to persue something else. Given that we don't have kids she didn't see any reason for us not to. Dad is scared. He thinks we are going to fail. He thinks we are giving up great jobs and a beautiful home and that this is as good as it gets. Julie reminds him that we are smart, resourceful, have no debt and enough money to insure that we don't run into a desperate situation. He's not having any of it. I express my disappointment, frustration and that it hurts. Julie is my voice of reason, unencumbered by the history of family disagreements and complications. She tells me they love me. They are old school, they feel like you get a good job and you keep it until you die. Finding yourself? Having a dream? Persuing that dream? The unknown? All foreign thoughts to them, sticking in their in their craw prohibitting them from nourishment and growth. She shows me how they love. When they say they are never coming to visit because mom can't fly and then talk about going to Puerto Rico for a family reunion or Spain with my brother and his family, they are trying to tell me I will be missing out on family, asking me to reconsider. In a strange totally disconnected way, I think she is right. Dan doesn't agree, he thinks that they just don't think. Whatever the reason, this is how they love. I will not get words of support from them. They probably won't show up at our going away party. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if no one in my family came, they are all invited. They don't understand what we are doing, to them we are crazy. Julie points out that this is their love; protective, anxious, guilt ridden but it is love. I am so grateful to have her as a friend. She knows me, she knows my family, she knows what she is talking about. We have known eachother for 20 years or so. We have had some tough times, witnessed family interactions; mostly toxic some loving, climbed mountains, went on road trips, lived together, seen boyfriends and husbands come and go, she has 3 boys and is doing a great job of raising them herself. We are living, learning, loving, hurting and becoming wise old women together! Julie Cobb, I love you! Thank you for being such a good friend!

Friends and Family

I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving Day. It seems like last weekend was Halloween! I guess next weekend will be Christmas and then we'll finally be on our way. In the meantime, we are having a lot of fun getting out into the world and visiting with family and friends.

Two weekends ago I made some chocolate chip cookies as a thank you for Dave Cary because he recommended his friends to come over and they bought a lot of stuff. We also sold a lot of my vinyl, the end tables in the red room, the dining table, chairs and serving table, the pot rack, some more DVDs, the ski rack and Steve McClure came over to get the foosball table. It was pretty chaotic, a lot of people came over after work but the stuff is clearing out. We still have several expensive items that we want to sell like the home gym, bed room set, surround sound and my ruby ring. If we get what we are asking, which is a lot less than we paid, we will get about 8 grand from those things alone. It is looking like we will have enough money to live off of for a couple of years, of course we want to get to working as soon as possible so we can save that and maybe buy a house or open a small business.

Last Friday, Dyanne and I met at Jose O'Shea's, a mexican joint in Lakewood for dinner. She had her little daughter in tow and we had a great time chatting and listening to her little one. Children are so funny! Afterwards we went to see Dr. Joe Dispenza speak. He is a motivational speaker and brain expert.
His philosophy is based on creating positive feelings, through meditation or prayer, and putting in requests for what you want. This practice gives you the life you want. Some of my favorite quotes were; "Digging up the old self makes room for the new self", "Nerve cells that fire together, wire together", "If your life isn't changing or going in the direction you want, ask yourself what emotion you feel everyday. That's the feeling you have to liberate to free up that energy to create something new", "The stuff you already know about yourself does not inspire change. We need change (challenge) in order to not be bored with ourselves", "When you start to complain ask yourself how you would have done things differently". I tried it this week. One sure way to get my positive vibrations going is to snuggle with Baxter. Word was out that if we finished our work by 3pm yesterday, we could leave. I was anxious because I had 3 sessions and didn't think I was going to get out early. Yesterday morning while I was still in bed, I snuggled with Baxter. Once I felt really happy I said I wanted to leave by 3. The morning started out rocky, one of the graphic designers took an air master and locked it in his room. We didn't know that, I was scheduled from 8 to 9 to make a fix and we spent most of that time looking for the tape. We didn't finish the session because of it. But I managed to cut a spot, put the finishing touches on it, lay it off, layoff the first session that didn't get done, digitize, edit and layoff for my 3rd session, layback some fixes and was walking to the car by 3:00! So, my new thing is to do that every morning. This morning I asked for a great day with my family.

Sunday uncle AK and aunt Shirley came to the house to see it for the first time. They drove all the way from Texas, where they live, to Oklahoma where their son and his wife are. Dropped off aunt Shirley's mother (because she is sick) and came out to Colorado. They plan on being back to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. Mom and dad bought some DVDs and uncle AK bought our Carol Greigg original painting. My aunt and uncle are fantastic people. Very calm, kind and accepting. We talked about moving, Hawaii, showed them pictures, showed dad how to use Skype and had lunch at the Hickory House. Dad shredding cheese for dinner and mom pretending to be keeping him on task.

Monday we went over to dad's house to visit some more and so Dan could do his usual computer to do list for dad. Mom stayed in the kitchen making dinner while aunt Shirley and I had a heart to heart. We talked about family and how hard it can be to stay out of their lives and let things happen as they will while offering love and support. We headed over to my brothers and had dinner. Kaila, his oldest wasn't feeling well so she stayed in bed the whole time. It was the first time they met Austin, my brother's youngest (he has 5) and it was fantastic seeing how he took to my aunt. Climbing up onto her lap and going to her for comfort. She teaches junior high kids with special needs and her patience and kindness is a magnet to us all!

After leaving work early yesterday, we went to Earl's for some beer with Wes, Bill, Annie and Kris. Love Wes, he is so funny, he had me cracking up. Bill, what can I say about him. He is an "includer", he welcomes anyone and any situation. He came in after us heartbroken. The evil step mother is causing Thanksgiving complications and his girls are suffering from it. We all felt so bad as he told us, with tears in his eyes, the baby mama drama story. Dan and I ran home to pick up our CSA delivery and to feed the dogs. Had a quick bite to eat at Las Delicious and met Bill and his family for a night of bowling.

I apologize for the tone of this post, and my last few, they seem to me to be more like a diary or, litany of events rather than something interesting to read. My inspiration has waned, from everything that is going on, and now the holidays are upon us!

I made some garlic, olive oil, oregano and mozzarella pull-apart bread with home made marinara to dip in and deviled eggs for this afternoon! Happy Thanksgiving!!