Goats are Silly!

It’s funny how when you are sick, things can become clearer. It’s like while your body is working hard to purge infection, your mind is purging sick thought patterns or ideas. It happened for both Dan and I as we lay in misery coughing, sneezing, and blowing our noses.

Keiki (kay kee) is the name for children in Hawaiian

Dan is finding a way to do his job at Papaya’s and not give it everything he has. It’s what he does when he works, he gives the job everything he’s got. Since Papaya’s is his “landing job” (first job here), not a career, he doesn’t need to give himself completely over to it. He’s pretty much overhauled the whole department anyway.

He took several days off (without pay) because he was so sick and in doing so was able to let go. Not let go in the sense of not caring but let go so he could let his passion for photography and graphic design in; give it fertile ground to grow in. I can tell he feels good about it and has been getting out and taking some pictures. This week he went to our neighbors and shot some goats. I’m posting quite a few because I like that goats smile and I’m hoping these pictures make my nephew Austin smile.

Today while I was at the library, Dan met with a photographer friend. They talked about gear and swapped cameras and took some pictures. Check out Damon’s beautiful photography here. Damon wants to sell his second camera so he lent it to Dan. While I type this Dan is on the floor taking pictures of Baxter with both cameras for comparison. Not that he’s going to buy the camera, he just wants to see what the difference is between a $4000.00 camera (Damon’s) and a $1300.00 camera. 

This is from the deck of Damon's house with Damon's camera. The house down in the valley is out friend's whose birthday party we went to last week.

These are some shots that Dan got from Damon's camera in Damon's backyard.

In an ah-ha moment for me, I realized that I need to change the way I’m creating my life. I can create it with fear in the background and worry about money and work or I can create with joy. I mean, I live on Kauai for Pete’s sake! How excellent is that? Plus, I have a strong, loving marriage and two snuggle puppies. I have two writing jobs that enable me to get my name out there, pay pretty decent and get me around the island and meeting people—a free meal once a week is nice also! 

This is my favorite goat shot

The writing class I'm taking is a lot of fun. I am working on my first assignment which is to decide on some topics and find potential markets. With Borders going out of business, it’s difficult to find a variety of magazines. I went to the Princeville library hoping to find magazines for the articles I want to write, but they don’t have the ones I’m looking for. It seems I’m going to have to send for some through the publication before my folks get tired of running to Barnes and Noble and the post office for me!

Based off a recommendation, we went to Kalaheo Cafe for this week’s article, and are happy to have found a gem on the South side. Next time we get visitors and we head west, we’ll make sure to stop there for breakfast and coffee. The article running in this week's issue features big, juicy burgers. It's still disappointing to see that Dan's shots are unappealing once they get them on the website.

I dropped off the chocolate chip cookies to the photo tour lady. She wasn’t there so I left them with a card. I am happy to say I have redeemed myself. She was already apprehensive because some guys said they were a writer and photographer and were doing a guide book. In the end she realized they just wanted a free tour and she felt completely taken advantage of. When I “called in sick” she was pretty annoyed. She called to thank me and was thrilled to get cookies (Dan’s idea) and grateful for the card. So yea! Because this is one of my article ideas. 

I like the Freedom From Smoking program. They have a message board and assignments. The assignments make you think about why you smoke and are designed to get deep into something that smokers usually don't think about. I feel that between the assignments and message boards I'll be successful. The message boards are filled with folks from each end of the spectrum. Some have been quit for three years and offer support and advice. Some, like me, are preparing to quit. You are supposed to post some of your assignments and the feedback is amazing. Quitting has always been a lonely process for me and being able to honestly talk with folks who understand and don't judge or have unrealistic expectations is extremely helpful.

Dinner time! The neighbor lady brought out carrots while Dan was gating shots of her goats.

Still sick today, I guess it’s going around the island. But everyday we feel better and I’m guessing in the next couple of days we’ll be back to normal. At lease I hope so!

Aloha nui loa

$4000.00 camera and glass

Living the Spirit of Aloha

The mainland style of rush, rush, rush - do, do, do - is slowly fading from Dan and I. We came here full speed ahead, determined to quickly start our new lives. But, the island doesn’t work that way. From the moment we stepped on island, things happened in their own sweet time. 

We are letting go of our agendas and letting things unfold as they will. Taking our time, enjoying our life in paradise. We don’t rush to get somewhere on time. We leave with plenty of time to get there, and then we let go. If there is an accident or road work, oh well, folks don’t get tweaked if your late. It’s common for folks to be late than not anyway. 

According to the Dali Lama, the purpose of life is to pursue happiness. Things that make you happy, thoughts that make you happy, pursue those. Eliminate stuff that doesn’t. Just ask yourself, does this action or thought contribute to my happiness? 

It’s pretty freeing.

This week promised to be fun. We went to a birthday party last Sunday in the beautiful valley of Kalihiwai, the beach just minutes away. Monday, I signed up for a writing course and the American Lung Association's Freedom From Smoking program. 

The restaurant review was where we celebrated 10 years of marriage, where we dreamed of moving here. The restaurant has an amazing orchid garden and pictures you see are ones Dan got while we were there.

I had a photo tour scheduled so I could write about it for the travel blog (which, by the way, won top listing—from hundreds of contestants—from Tripbase Awards). I had to cancel the photo tour.

Dan started feeling sick Tuesday, the night of the restaurant review. By Wednesday, he was feeling so bad (painful cough, fever, stuffy head, aches and pains) he went to work for a few hours before coming home. I was feeling it too, and got hit hard Thursday. We spent all day on the couch. I was entertaining the idea of going on the photo tour, but I could imagine what their clients would think if I happened to cough, so I cancelled. Friday and Saturday were spent on the couch.

Today, we are better. The fever is gone, the coughing isn’t as bad. We have stuffy heads, the kind that make you dizzy, and feel weak. Dan is going to work for three hours and I’m going to do laundry. I hope to make cookies to bring to the photo tour lady tomorrow. She went out of her way to arrange for us to go, getting an additional driver, only to have to cancel. 

I thought I’d share this definition of Aloha. I found it on a website and thought it described the word and the people of Hawaii perfectly.

The literal meaning of aloha is “the presence of breath” or “the breath of life.” It comes from “Alo,” meaning presence, front and face, and “ha,” meaning breath. Aloha is a way of living and treating each other with love and respect. Its deep meaning starts by teaching ourselves to love our own beings first and afterwards to spread the love to others.

According to the old kahunas (priests), being able to live the Spirit of Aloha was a way of reaching self-perfection and realization for our own body and soul. Aloha is sending and receiving a positive energy. Aloha is living in harmony. When you live the Spirit of Aloha, you create positive feelings and thoughts, which are never gone. They exist in space, multiply and spread over to others.

Saturday

Rain—the kind that just turns on and gushes out of the sky fast and hard—gets Dan out of bed at 5 a.m. to close the front door. Five minutes later, the rain shuts off just as fast. We linger in the darkness, lazy. There is no rush this morning, nowhere we have to be. Baxter moves up from the foot of the bed for his morning snuggles and Lucy flounces up minutes later.

The post rain clouds at dawn

The sun begins to warm things up

Today will be uneventful. For me, I am going to write that restaurant review. I have been planning on doing it all week, but moved it down the line for the video. I’ll read. Maybe I’ll walk the bike path along the coast if it isn’t raining. 

Dan has been working every day for the last three to four weeks so he gets some downtime today. My guess is he’ll spend it on Facebook and gaming. He might play around in Illustrator. Although he does have to spend some time working on a graphic for a client, just some revisions so it shouldn't take all day.

We send love to our friends in Colorado who are already dealing with fires, one of them in our old neighborhood. I heard 10,000 acres were evacuated and people made it out safely. I don’t know the extent of the damage or if it’s put out yet but we hope folks are safe. Crazy world, between Japan and the fires in Colorado a lot of people are forced to restructure their lives. 

The state tells us there are minuscule amounts of radiation in Hawaii’s air. A friend said she was sure there was more. She complained of feeling sick; having headaches and vomiting. She said her dog was sick too. Dan and I feel fine and we don’t know of anyone else who feels sick. So, for the moment, we aren’t stressing ourselves out about it.

I got this heartening email from my aunt. Someone sent it to her.

BELOVEDS,

Someone I am connected to in Japan sent this very touching letter on how the

Japanese people are "being with" their challenges. Beautifully inspiring.

Love to ALL,

from Yatra.

Hello My Lovely Friends,

First I want to thank you so very much for your concern for me. I am very

touched. I also wish to apologize for a generic message to you all. But it

seems the best way at the moment to get my message to you.

Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed to

have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is even more

worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend's home. We share supplies

like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined up in one room, eat

by candlelight, share stories. It is warm, friendly, and beautiful.

During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes. People sit

in their cars, looking at news on their navigation screens, or line up to

get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has water running in

their home, they put out sign so people can come to fill up their jugs and

buckets.

Utterly amazingly where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in lines.

People leave their front door open, as it is safer when an earthquake

strikes. People keep saying, "Oh, this is how it used to be in the old days

when everyone helped one another."

Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes. Sirens

are constant and helicopters pass overhead often.

We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is for half

a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet come on. But all

of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do not. No one has

washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are so much more

important concerns than that for us now. I love this peeling away of

non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct, of intuition, of

caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of me, but of the entire

group.

There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some

places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun.

People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking their

dogs. All happening at the same time.

Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No cars.

No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are scattered with

stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole sky is filled. The

mountains are Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see them

silhouetted against the sky magnificently.

And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack to

check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity is on,

and I find food and water left in my entranceway. I have no idea from whom,

but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to door checking to see

if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if they need

help. I see no signs of fear. Resignation, yes, but fear or panic, no.

They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes, for

another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls, shaking,

rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai that is a bit

elevated, a bit more solid than other parts. So, so far this area is better

off than others. Last night my friend's husband came in from the country,

bringing food and water. Blessed again.

Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed

an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world

right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now

in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if I

felt so small because of all that is happening. I don't. Rather, I feel as

part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of

birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.

Thank you again for your care and Love of me,

With Love in return, to you all,

Anne.

Friday

This morning I woke to the pink glow of the sunrise and a cacophony of bird song. The birds didn’t go silent, they are always there. I just started hearing them again.

I just took the dogs for a walk, they were so good yesterday while I edited this video. For my professional editing colleagues, if you decide to spend three minutes of your life watching this, please remember that I have a consumer camera that weighs about one half pound. Of course this comes with a mic that is permanently affixed to it.  Plus, it’s the first time I have edited on Final Cut Pro, and my first video in 14 months. I know, big build up!

Despite that, I like it. It took me back to the early days of my career and I think the music (from a local band) makes it fun to watch. Dan made some fantastic graphics for it and some great photos. I like his people shots. He gets some great smiles out of people who are usually nervous about getting their picture taken and he captures some intimate, candid moments.

I’m going to relax a bit today. Do some yoga and meditation, maybe watch some more tutorials on Final Cut. I’m saving the restaurant review for tomorrow. It’s Dans one day off and if I’m occupied he’ll have a chance to relax!

Aloha nui loa

Thursday

My ten-year-old came to visit this morning. She was hiding in her costume; a chocolate colored velvet flat hat and a dark purple jacket. She is a bully. Withdrawn and angry she pushes people away. She got into some fights leaving fifth grade and going to sixth grade, which was at a new school.

Her profile is silhouetted, she’s hunched in shadow. Closed. I tell her she is loved. I know she is the one who has a difficult time bonding with people, making connections. She drives me to keep busy, keep moving, keep going. I need to release her of this job.

I roll over and ask Dan for a snuggle to show her how much she is loved. She cries lightly. Overwhelmed by the thought that she is loved just as she is. Baxter and Lucy give her snuggles too. 

I thank her for getting me to where I am. For doing the best she can. I can see she wants to draw. I see her on her belly, legs kicked up in the air, her costume intact, happily drawing the hours away.

I tell her everything is ok, all she needs to do now is draw. She can take off the jacket and hat because we live in paradise. It’s warm here. I encourage her to feel the warm sun on her bare arms, the cool trade winds, the moisture in the air. Breathe deep. Fling your arms out. Tilt your head to the sky. Play! Fly! 

Wednesday

Wednesday

Tuesday morning I was driving home from a beautiful morning at the beach. My iPhone was charging and in the cup holder of the jeep. Baxter is sitting calmly in the passenger seat, all tuckered out and Lucy was laying in the back (we removed the back seat). I’m lost in KONG, our local radio station that plays a fantastic variety of music.

I look over at Baxter, mentally note the he doesn’t look to well, and reach out to pet him. My arm rests on the center console and it’s wet. I look down a see puke on the console, the emergency brake and filling up the cup holders! I grab my wet phone and set it on the seat, praying for the best.

When Dan comes home he pronounces it dead. Apple tells us we are one month shy or our contract renewal in which we can upgrade my 3GS to a 4G. So, we head down to the AT&T store to get a new phone. In the middle of going through our options, all depressing, I remember I still have my 3G at home. Last year when we upgraded we kept our old phones to use as iPods. The lady set me up and now I’m using my old phone. Happy ending although I am already frustrated at the smaller storage space!

Isn’t it funny how we fill space up when we have it to fill. All kinds; home space, computer space, phone, iPod, brain. Brain space is a tricky one for me. I notice myself filling up my time so there is no space for reflection. This moment is the crux for me. To balance income with life. We moved here to allow space for life to bloom. To sever the tap roots of work, work, work; fast, fast, fast; and take deep breaths of life.

Doing work we love helps because it’s too fun to seem like work. Today will be productive. Dealing with cleaning the jeep and my phone left no time or desire to write up the restaurant review. I have a shoot tonight at 5. 

I just created this Facebook page for our business. Dan is making our website, in his spare time, so I think this will work for now. The idea came to me this morning. A kind lady found me through the travel blog. Another sign that my dear friend was right, God sent me an email. She thinks she may have some work for me!

Aloha nui loa

Tuesday

I am on fire! I spoke with the Hawaii Stream guy for about an hour yesterday. We got along very well—he even confided business things to me and said, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this stuff!” The website is a social media site and delivers news mostly via video. They need my help! The videos like this one—in which our Mayor opens the Prince Jonah Kūhiō Kalanianaʻole Celebration that is happening all week—need me.

I think this is a huge opportunity (of course I tend to see opportunity in almost everything). I have a lot of energy and an entrepreneurial spirit and have been spending that energy with people who don’t have that same spirit. These guys do. They are a start up company and the two guys running it seem to be good businessmen. They are stretched too thin and doing everything, including the videos. Enter me.

Since they are a start up, they don’t have a lot of cash flow. They do have some and luckily for me, I make an all time low (I made more in high school). It doesn’t take very much money to make me happy now-a-days. I am going to shoot two videos for the celebration this week and see how things go. One is the “Taste of the Islands” and the other, an inaugural amateur boxing championship. Right now, the payment is getting out there, meeting people and getting into the events for free. But, I expect that to change soon.

I have a vision that in a year or so, my videos will have helped the website—I mean if your site is going to be driven by videos they better be engaging! I feel like I could be the local video person and I feel like this could be the work that sticks. What could be better? Working at an island style pace, going to community events (and there are a lot here) from art to music, food, mountain and ocean beauty, sports, fund raisers and Hawaiian culture; meeting people and getting to know the lay of the land. 

I want to be a contributing member of the community. For me, this means not only working but doing something that helps the community. It’s difficult to really know what people are doing here. A lot of folks don’t promote their businesses and mostly rely on the coconut wireless. This website is a way to connect folks and I hope to be a part of it. We’ll see what life has in store for me. It could be another stepping stone.

I am wondering about this extreme bounce back. I hope I’m not diving in too deep again and using it to cover something I’d rather not think about or feel. So I want to continue with the self discovery. I’m going to take the dogs to the beach after I post the coffee article. I’ll come home, make a nice lunch and write the restaurant review from yesterday. Then a little meditation and answering more of those difficult questions from Christena’s book. 

Aloha Nui Loa