You would think I could write about losing my buddy, my sunshine, my dear four-legged friend. But I can’t. After a long night of watching him suffer, Dan and I took him to the vet this morning. I had found an internet group that is for dogs with renal disease. They sent me some kind words, so I’ll borrow them.
All I can say is that today dawned a beautiful pink sunrise, but it quickly turned grey and cloudy. It matches my mood. All the color has gone from my dream, especially brown. I don’t know what to do with myself, and I wonder how people choose to participate in life when they lose a loved one.
'I'm Still Here'
Friend, please don't mourn me,
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day,
And within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near,
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart,
As long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight.
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach.
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around,
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that april will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep,
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
Message from Angel Baxter
I stood beside your bed last night,
I came to have a peak.
I could see that you were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly
as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you.
I'm fine and well and here."
I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour your tea.
You were thinking of the many times
Your hand reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you
That I'm not lying there.
I walked with you back to the house
As you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you
And barked to say "It's me!"
You looked so very tired
As you sank into your chair.
I tried so hard to let you know
That I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be
so near you every day,
And to say to you with certainty
"I never went away."
You sat there very quietly,
Then smiled, I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
And when the time is right for you
To cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
And stand there by your side.
I have many things to show you yet,
There is much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out
Then come to be with me.
And if you’re not feeling my pain yet, watch this.
I miss you Baxter Brown, I’ll see you in my dreams.